Hitler Had Multiple Gamer Moments: A New Report Reveals The Gamer Adolf

Did you know Adolf Hitler was the original gamer? Yes, new research coming out of Berlin shows that the leader of the Third Reich reportedly was big on video games.

Nazi scientists are said to have created a device similar to Atari's Pong, which was reportedly very popular among Hitler and other Nazis.

"Adolf Hitler was an avid gamer," said Freudman Strauss, head of the institute of general knowledge in Berlin. "Generals would spend hours trying to get him away from his game so that he can prepare for speeches. The real reason he looked so frantic onstage wasn't just because this guy was shooting speed. He was feening for more gaming."

Hitler would reportedly spend days locked inside dark rooms, playing video games. Sometimes he would play his game with generals, soldiers, civilians, and even prisoners. Anyone who played against him was forced to lose at gunpoint.

"One thing's for sure," said Strauss. "Hitler had multiple gamer moments before and during World War II. He had the ultimate high score that lasts to this day."

Many historians now claim that Hitler's suicide was the first "rage quit" in gamer history.  However, some claim that he is still alive as an active gamer and Twitch streamer in Argentina.

In other news, the brilliant minds from Vox and Buzzfeed teamed up with Groyper's Garden to figure a way to associate internet darling PewDiePie with Hitler and Nazism. Our tireless and vapid research showed that the very first YouTuber to subscribe to PewDiePie's channel was an account named AdolfShitler.

(Disclaimer): The contents of this blog post are entirely satirical and fictional.

A Clockwork Groyper (Chapter 1)

It was us frens - that is Groyper, Honkler, Marv, and Apu. And we were sitting in the Brittany Venti milkbar plotting on what to do with the evening. Each of us were taking inward our share of Milkies Plus, which contained Frenocrum, Horntaset, and Brapsclin - all to sharpen us up for a night of the ultra groyping. And sharpen us it did, oh my groypers, that it did.

After a few quick glurp glurp of all the sweet, sweet milkies you can plot, we left the Venti bar with spirits high. Viddying the dark cool streets, your most thoughtful narrator found an NPC hollering away into the night and singing ear-splitting verses from Childish Gambino picturing the country as racist and rotten.

"How goes there, sin-singer of the daily warts? Why is thou singing into the open air?" I said grinning down at the NPC half-drunk on its own song.

"Because this is America, where it's always been rotten and stinking," said the NPC shivering in its own slimy filth.

"And oh, what's so rotten about it, fren?" said your humble narrator.

"It's rotten because it lets the Chads get over on the virgins. It's rotten because it doesn't pay women the same for doing half the work as men," said the NPC bum. "Trump is destroying the earth. He's a Russian puppet. There's no longer any respect for earthly law and order anymore."

Then, oh my groypers, the sweet bliss of fists and kicks on this poor city sap of the night. We kicked and punched him as he sang out his tired sad song.

We plucked a car about a quarter mile down the road and went out speeding into the sweet dark. My frens laughing and hooting as I played 'groyps of the road' with other vehicles of the night. Oh, my groypers, it was a real horrorshow ride screaming fast down the dimly lit streets.

Reddit Frenocide 2019: Never Again. (The Bopocost)

How do I feel about the biggest frenocide known to the internet? Two words: Never Again.

Thursday, June 20, 2019, will go down in infamy as the day when r/frenworld died. On that day, anons experienced the largest frenocide of the century, resulting in the annihilation and ethnic cleansing of over 60k frens. Innocent good bois were wiped clean from Reddit. The many were blamed for the shitposting of the few as those who allegedly promoted excessive bopping ultimately led to the subreddit being banned for supposedly "encouraging and glorifying violence."

F to all the cozy frens. Give the closest good boi around you a big warm hug.

They were too young. They were all just too young. Those...monsters. Those normie scum, unfrenly heartless bastards took this from us:

You'll catch as many beautiful butterflies as you want in Heaven, my dearest Apustaja.

Reddit took away our frens for being the cutest, sweetest frogs around. We weren't calling for the death of police officers or bashing the fash or destroying the patriarchy or challenging and dismantling problematic whiteness. We were just frens. A bunch of cozy frens.

After and during the Reddit Frenocide, many cozy good bois took in Apus and Marvs. The largely unprovoked frenocide caused a massive meme refugee crisis. Apu was the one really under attack, but Marvs capitalized off of the situation by migrating from Marvistan and claiming asylum or hiding in the homes of fellow expat frens.

We should have seen this coming, frens. We had our fun on Reddit, but normies are really the ones in control of the flow of information. Normies have influence over the major news networks as well as social media platforms. We are the frens who just want to preserve /our/ way of life.

They'll continue to attack us and smear us as the wrongdoers.

And we'll continue to fight back and sometimes it could be against fellow frens, but don't do that, that's what the normies want.

Please be compassionate in these trying times. As we mourn the losses of the fallen, try to take in as many fren refugees as you can and nourish their memes back to life.

In the end, thank you. Thank you for being a fren.

Milkies, Milkies

Milkies, milkies, my favorite treat Just one glass or I'll feel weak Sipping on the frosty foam Sitting in my comfy, cozy home Still longing for another squirt One more glass of milkies wouldn't hurt Milkies! Milkies! Or I go berserk! Deny me milkies, I scorch the earth!

AOC Can't Stand To See A Little Fren Locked In A Cage (Aftermath of the Reddit Frenocide)

It's okay, AOC, don't cry.  That little fren has been rescued from the clutches of Reddit.  The frenocide of June 20, 2019, took the memes of over 60 thousand frens.  Some memes survived but were detained by unfrenly actors like Will Sommer and Billy Johnson.

Dry your milky eyes, AOC.  Maybe one day we will share tendies in peace.  Maybe there will come a day when frens and nonfrens are able to coexist peacefully in a free society.

Now, dance!  Dance, I say!  Dance!

[Editor's Note]: If you have any memes of frens that were removed by Reddit during the Frenocide of 2019, please send an e-mail with as many fren memes you have to greenknightwowie@gmail.com

Pirate Apu Says, "Arrggg, Will Any Of You Lilylivered Landlubbers Tell Me Where's My Frens" - Recovered from the Reddit Frenocide of 2019

With /frenworld banned, many of that subreddit's magic memes may be lost forever into the dust-bin of history. Presently, media writers with an unfrenly agenda like Will Sommer of The Daily Beast and Billy Johnson of timesofisrael.com have cherry-picked handfuls of memes and used that as a bludgeon to misrepresent over 60k cozy frens as racists and anti-Semites. These unfrenly actors are blaming the many for the shitposting of the few. They're trying to soil the group identity of frens and all frens, even those of them just posting cute, cozy memes without frog whistles attached.

One meme that was recovered from the /frenworld incident is the one depicted above. It is of the lovable Apu Apustaja wearing a pirate outfit. He is sailing the sea, searching for his frens.

If you have any memes of frens that were deleted during the Reddit Frenocide, please send an e-mail to greenknightwowie@gmail.com

Stay strong, frens. We'll make it through this together.

"Save The Bees, Frens" - Recovered From the Reddit Frenocide of 2019

"Save The Bees, Frens" is just one meme that survived the Reddit Frenocide of 2019. Frenophobia is seen as the primary catalyst to why /frenworld was removed, considering bopping isn't kosher but smashing is fashionable.

After over 60k frens were ethnically cleansed by Reddit, the surviving frens are left with one two-worded motto: Never Again.

From the ashes, we've recovered some memes. Many memes have been destroyed, but the ones that were saved I'll put on display at Groyper's Gathering.

In the photo, Apu Apustaja also known as Helper, wears a bee keeper outfit and cries while looking at the bees. There are only 16 bees in the photo. Perhaps, there should be more and Apu is sad noticing his dwindling hive. Or possibly, he could be reflecting upon bubblebees becoming endangered. He also probably knows that the human species and many other species are reliant on bees for their survival, so we must "save the bees, frens" or a terrible fate will fall upon us all.

In 2016, seven species of bees were added to the endangered species list. Just this year, North American bubblebees were added to the list of endangered species. Bees are beautiful majestic little creatures whose pollination is responsible for one third of the global flood supply. Without these wonderful insects, life on Earth would be forever altered and many will die including humans, both frens and nonfrens.

Either way, bees are incredibly important frens and must be preserved for the survival of many different species of plants and animals. Humans wouldn't be able to survive without these wonderful little frens.

SAVE THE BEES, FRENS

Now, why would Reddit want to destroy this message?  And was it worth it?

Frenocide of the Century: Frenworld Banned From Reddit, Over 60k Frens Were Ethnically Cleansed

Thursday, June 20, 2019, will go down in infamy as the day when Frenworld died. On that day, anons experienced the largest frenocide of the century, resulting in the annihilation and ethnic cleansing of over 60k frens. Innocent good bois were wiped clean from Reddit. The many were blamed for the shitposting of the few as those who allegedly promoted excessive bopping ultimately led to the subreddit being banned supposedly "for encouraging and glorifying violence."

Sure, some may have been blowing frog whistles. But it was all cheeky fun and many of the memes that were mostly seen were ones of Apus having fun. One meme even raised awareness to the importance of "saving the bees, frens" to help Mother Earth and therefore Frenworld.

Similarly, lesser-known but related subs /frenland and /frengalaxy were also banned during the Reddit purge. The Frenocide refers specifically to the banning of /frenworld, but may also include all the other fren-related subs that were shut down. Bopocost is another word for the Frenocide, considering that the alleged reason /frenworld was shut down is because of the use of the word 'bop' or 'bopping' which was decided to be too dangerous for Reddit. 

Oh, frens, you did nothing wrong

Now let's sing the song

Just come along

Hey, frens come gather around

Come here sit right down

But hey, what's that sound?

Oh, no! My frens all dead! (all dead)

Oh, no! I just checked the subreddit!

Over 60 thousand dead in their grave!

The biggest frenocide, no one to save!

How do I feel about the biggest frenocide known to the internet? Two words: Never Again.

F to all the cozy frens. Give the closest good boi around you a big warm hug.

They were too young. They were all just too young. Those...monsters. Those normie scum, unfrenly heartless bastards took this from us:

You'll catch as many beautiful butterflies as you want in Heaven, my dearest Apu.

Reddit took away our frens for being the cutest, sweetest frogs around. We weren't calling for the death of police officers or bashing the fash or destroying the patriarchy or challenging and dismantling problematic whiteness. We were just frens. A bunch of cozy frens.

After and during the Reddit Frenocide, many cozy good bois took in Apus and Marvs. The largely unprovoked frenocide caused a massive meme refugee crisis. Apu was the one really under attack, but Marvs capitalized off of the situation by migrating from Marvistan and claiming asylum or hiding in the homes of fellow expat frens.

We should have seen this coming, frens. We had our fun on Reddit, but normies are really the ones in control of the flow of information. Normies have influence over the major news networks as well as social media platforms. We are the frens who just want to preserve /our/ way of life.

They'll continue to attack us and smear us as the wrongdoers.

And we'll continue to fight back and sometimes it could be against fellow frens, but don't do that, that's what the normies want.

Please be compassionate in these trying times. As we mourn the losses of the fallen, try to take in as many fren refugees as you can and nourish their memes back to life.

In the end, thank you. Thank you for being a fren.

Rest in peace, /frenworld (September 10, 2018 - June 20, 2019). Gone, but not forgotten.

The Lady Who Honks (Chapter 2)

Honkler took a deep harsh drag of his cigarette, looking out at the sea of NPC protesters across the street. UC Berkeley, an intellectual wasteland on the edge of nowhere, a place designed for faceless mods repeating the approved talking points of the day and chasing down any dissenting opinions or images. Clowns had long been outlawed in this terrible city and Honkler knew by being here he was in grave danger.

"Down with corporations, up with open borders," chanted the crowd not knowing that they're playing right into the hand of global multinational capital. "Whiteness is a disease! Your capitalism makes us sneeze!"

The clown took a step. *Honkkkkkkkkkk*

The crowd turned around sharply and Honkler froze. "Get him!", screamed a member of the audience. "Nazi clown, shut it down!"

Honkler ran so fast, he disappeared in a flash around the corner. The crowd followed with pitchforks and torches. They stopped abruptly. A helicopter appeared and the clown was behind the wheel. The 'copter was brightly covered with every color of the rainbow. Honkler pulled the trigger and a massive amount of silly strings flew out onto the protesters who became trapped in the colorful goop.

The clown landed the helicopter and exited riding a unicycle juggling bowling pins.

"What? What do you want, evil racist clown?" asked a blue-haired wench trapped in purple and green goop. "Why did you do this to us?"

These punks needed to be taught a lesson and Honkler was just the clown for the job.

"Now, you listen here you delusional Marxist punk," said Honkler grabbing the protester up by the gooey shirt collar. "An important anthropologist Groyper has been kidnapped and may be chemically castrated. I have the soy. Can you tell me where and with whom can I make this trade-off? It's a favor for a cozy fren."

The downed protester thought for a minute before saying, "Die, Nazi clown, scum" and spat in the face of Honkler. The clown froze as spit dribbled down his green face.

"Alright, fren, so if this is how it's going to be," said Honkler as he lifted up the protester with one hand freeing zir from the goo. "You see that sidewalk over there. Bite the curb. Bite it!"

"Wait- what?" said the NPC.

"This isn't a fucking option for you, now go over there and bite the curb," ordered Honkler.

The NPC reluctantly obeyed by getting down on zir knees. Very slowly, zir inched her teeth towards the cement before clamping down on the curb.

**HONK** was the sound the clown made as he pulled out a clown horn from his back pocket. The protester slumped down on the curb and passed out from fear.

FADES TO BLACK

Honkler spent hours walking around that degenerate campus, fitting in with the crowd by wearing a T-shirt that said, "My girlfriend's lover has my other shirt."

The clown stopped at a classroom door that had a flyer taped on it that read, "Castrate The Western Male: A Seminar About Advancing Into The Postmodern Age".

Honkler found a seat at the back of the class while the professor lectured: "Hello, comrades of UC Berkeley. As the orange man has shown us, we can not trust the Western male in guiding the free world. He is a bigoted, backwards brute that must be cowed into submission. One way of doing this is to spay and neuter the males we have and replace them with migrants from the third world. Today, I have brought forth such a specimen that will make your toes curl with toxicity. One moment please."

"What kind of class is this?" asked Honkler to himself.

"Isn't this great? We're learning so much," said an impressionable young student who overheard the clown muttering to himself. "We're enriching ourselves with knowledge and wisdom."

Honkler pulled out a clown horn and honked.  **HONNNKKKKKKK**

"What was that?  What was that?", roared the professor. "Honking is illegal hate speech. Whoever made that honk come forward or I will have to send all the white males in the class to work camps. You have ten seconds. Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven."

Honkler looked around the room, but no one was looking back at him. Could he be in the clear?

"Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Alright, all the while males get up for forced labor," said the professor as a dozen policemen with machine guns entered the room and escorted out every white male.

Honkler thanked his lucky stars for his green skin.

"Alright, back to the lesson plan," said the professor. "Today, we're going to castrate a live subject, turning a biological male forever into a transgender female. Our subject is the bigoted Groyper, a hate speech faux-anthropologist who will be making the transition."

Two policemen with machine guns entered the room, wheeling out an object covered in red cloth.

"Be warned," said the professor. "You may become a Nazi just by looking at it."

The professor yanked away the cloth, unveiling the Groyper as the students gasped.

"There he is. Now's my chance," thought Honkler to himself. "I need to make my move now before they turn this cozy fren into a trap."

Honkler stood up on his desk and yelled out, "Stop what you're doing. I have the soy. Let Groyper go!"

TO BE CONTINUED...

They Sit High Upon Their Thrones

They sit high upon their thrones shimmering with gold
The children of social justice, the young and the old
Exploit the plight of the down, forever down and cold
Who is both weak and mighty, the brainwashed souls
Listen, kids, to this story that's told of Culture Marxists
The young and old, students and teachers, all in the fold

Apu's Gift

- Helper Apu is sitting with his pupper by a roaring fireplace. He is playing a yo-yo. Up and down it goes.

- His father, Pepe Pep (Pepe the Frog in a suit and tie) enters the room holding a train that's both green and gold.

- Apu's eyes widen. He says, "Upsies. Upsies, please," while reaching for the train with two outstretched arms.

- Pepe picks him up and hands him the train.

- Apu is smiling with bright eyes. He swings the train around in the air, saying "Cho cho, cho cho"

- Mommy Apu wearing an apron walks in with a platter of tendies.

- Little Apu eats all the tendies. He hugs Mummy.

- Apu takes his toy train and goes with pupper to a cozy couch cousin and they both fall asleep

- Teenage Groyper comes into the house, grabbing everything in sight with his foot, including Mummy and Pepe.

- "Groypers will be Groypers," says Mom Apu

- Groyper slowly peaks into the room at sleeping Apu and the toy train

- Groyper imagines himself trading the toy to a dealer in a back-alley for tendies.

- Groyper walks over and steals the train from sleeping Apu and runs off in a flash.

- Doggo wakes up and barks which wakes up Apu

- "Mummy! Mummy!" cries Apu

- Mom Apu steps in. Apu is crying. She gives the crying frog a hug.

- Fades to Black

- Helper is sitting at a window sill, looking out at the rain. He is crying, with a thought-bubble of his stolen toy train hanging over head.

- Pepe enters the room with a McDonald's Happy Meal in hand.

- Apu turns to his father and his tears disappear.

- "Upsies. Upsies," says Apu.

- Pepe picks up Apu and they hug.

Groyper Gassed My Family

Groyper gassed my family, I should have seen the act
When he came upon my porch, smiling, tendies in his sack
"A whole bag of tendies for you if you let me in"
"Come on in, good Groyper," I said. "How long has it been?"
The grinning toad stepped inside, fingers interlocked under chin
With fire in his coal black eyes, lips chapped in a permagrin

I should have seen the devious act right when he came
But he smiled at my wife and children all the same
They were happy to see the cheerful toad once again
Groyper volunteered to make a snack for us all
He approached the oven in the kitchen down the hall

Stepping outside for a minute for fresh air
I returned to the home with a frightful scare
Toxic gas permeated the house, smell so foul
There was Groyper in a gas mask hiding a scowl
A mother and her children now both deceased
By Groyper the Toad, the fascist priest

The Lady Who Honks: A Neo-Noir Tale (Chapter I)

Honkler closed the Venetian blinds to his office. A private eye gone awry in this decaying city of horrors. You wouldn't want to know the things he's seen. The things he's seen would cripple any man to their very core, shocking and scarring their being for the rest of their existence.

There was a dame. Not just any old dame. One with a ruby red nose and soft feather green skin that'd make any fella weak at the knees. She came bearing a letter of concern. Her husband was kidnapped during a visit to Cuckistan, a very hostile environment where even smiling at a man the wrong way can lead to your face plastered on every screen in the country.

"Oh, Honkler, Honkler," said the beautiful dame. "They took my husband. The cucks, they've kidnapped him and they want a ransom. If I don't give them the soy soon, they'll chemically-castrate him like they've been doing to 8-year-old children in America. Oh, Honkler, can you stop them?"

Honkler looked down at his desk, took one final drag of his cigarette before discarding it in the ash tray.

The dame continued. "My name is Helena Groyper. The cucks kidnapped my husband Peperton. We're both anthro-," said Ms. Groyper before being cut off by the detective.

"Soy, you say? I haven't seen soy since I was a youngster, since before the Kekistani Revolution and the Clown Wars which followed," said Honkler. "I didn't know soy still existed. Really, I haven't made much contact with the land beyond these walls in who knows how long. I barely even leave this office. Honk."

The lady trembled in the low light of the room. Her voice cracked while saying, "Can- can you help him, Honkler?"

"We're both anthropologists studying Cuck civilization. My husband, I don't know what's wrong with him. But he mentioned verifiable science, that to which we only speak in Kekistan behind the iron walls," said the dame with dampness in her eyes. "They took him. They took him, Honkler. I'll- I'll pay you. Can you please get him back to me?"

Honkler flipped a coin in the air while thinking, a habit he picked up after he solved his first case and at this point he was only being superstitious continuing it.

"Sure, lord knows I'm a sucker for pretty green frens who get themselves in trouble," said Honkler catching his coin. "Now, where in Cuckistan was your husband captured?"

"Berkeley," said the dame. "The University of California, Berkeley."

Honkler's mouth hung open.

"What's wrong?" asked the dame. "Was it something I said?"

"My God," said Honkler. "Well, it looks like I'm going right into the center of chaos. And I've never been so ready in all my life."

TO BE CONTINUED....

Groyper Goes To The Shady Side Of Frentown For Back-Alley Chicken Tendies

In a back-alley, in the shady side of Frentown, Groyper searched for his chicken tendies dealer. A frown cast upon the toad's face as he looked under garbage pales, under trash cans, and wet newspapers, until finding his dealer fren Fronz the French Ferret.

With fingers interlocked under chin, Groyper passed along the toy train to Fronz with his foot. The ferret smiled, reached into his trench coat and pulled out a pink dildo by mistake. Groyper grimaced and Fronz dropped the dildo while reaching back into his coat to pull out a zip-loc bag of premium tendies.

Groyper grabbed the bag and ran off. He hopped along the trail of the cybernetic cityscape that occupied the shady side of Frentown. He hopped passed Pepbots and NPCs doing their daily reeeee and screams respectively.

This mischievous toad pondered whether it was wrong of him to steal that green-golden toy train from his little cousin Helper. But once he looked down at the tendies in his pocket, his mind quickly reverted to a state of bliss, picturing himself enjoying that fresh pound of sweet, sweet tendies moving past his lips, onto his long pink tongue, and into that starving green belly.

While hopping his way up the pathway to his frenly home, Groyper reached into his pocket and pulled out one uncooked tendies as he could no longer wait to consume his tendie treats. Groyper bit into the cold chicken and smiled.

Groyper slowly crept towards his side door and peered into the window. He entered the house and hopped towards the kitchen where he unraveled tin foil onto the counter, placing each tendie onto the foil in preparation for the oven.

He retreated to the bedroom to change clothes. Any time Groyper used the oven, he always wore his German military uniform. Groyper returned to the kitchen and placed the foil with the tendies into the oven and smiled.

Groyper set the oven to 300 degrees and the timer for fifteen minutes. He waited until the tendies reached a golden-brown. He waited patiently, drooling, watching the tendies cook and sizzle.

The oven buzzed and the toad quickly yanked open its door and pulled out the tendie treats. OWWWWWW! Silly Groyper forgot to put an oven mitten on his foot. He sucked his foot in pain then fell onto the floor to devour the tendies.

Groyper's eyes welled with both pain and pleasure. Despite the burning pain in his foot, the tendies were delicious and totally worth the trouble.

He fell asleep upon the floor, satisfied with the snack. Groyper later awoke two hours later as vomit uncontrollably spewed from his open mouth. He felt terribly, terribly sick.

Groyper spent the next week sick in bed. Helper even paid him a visit to hand-feed him chicken noodle broth to help nurse him back to health.

"Don't worry, fren," said Helper. "I forgive you for stealing my toy train. I know you have a terrible addiction and I still love you no matter what. You'll always be apart of my family and a true fren."

Helper's Gift: The Tale Of The Green-Golden Toy Train

A beloved fren, a simple hero with an innocent and curious soul that knows no bounds. Helper sat by the fire playing with a yo-yo, sitting besides his favorite shaggy pupper.

Papa Pep walked in with a green and golden toy train for his favorite good boi. Helper stood up, hands outstretched towards his father. His eyes lit up when seeing the train. "Upsies," said Helper. "Upsies please."

Pep picked up Helper and handed him the train. The good boi's eyes lit up with wonder and he swung the toy around in the air, making "cho cho" noises.

Mummy came in from the kitchen with a plate of chicken tendies fresh and hot from the oven. Name brand tendies, they were of top quality until the very last bite. After finishing said tendies and giving Mummy a hug, little Helper retreated to a soft couch cushion where he slept soundly with pupper.

While Helper slept, his teenage cousin Groyper came over, grabbing nearly everything with his foot. Mummy and Papa Pep overlooked these transgressions, suggesting "Groypers will be Groypers."

Groyper eyed the green-golden toy train in Helper's sleeping arms. With fingers interlocked beneath his chin, he devised the ultimate scheme: steal Helper's toy while he's asleep and play "cho cho" anytime he wants or, even better, he'd trade the train in an alley for more tendies than his heart could desire.

Groyper grabbed the train which woke up the dog who woke up the Helper frog who called for his mum. "Mum, mum, come quick. Come quick. Cousin Groyper is running off with my train."

When Mummy entered the den, Groyper had already run off with the train. Helper's eyes swelled with tears. He hugged Mummy and wept.

Later that day, poor little Helper stared out the window. He cried, longing for the green-golden toy train to return home to his loving arms. But sadly, that day never came.

Cousin Groyper sold the train in a back-alley for a bag of home-brewed chicken tendies. A whole pound of tendies that only made Groyper sick.

Groyper learned an important lesson: eat tendies responsibly and only buy them from a store or restaurant or kid's meal burger joint, not some shady back-alley.

Meanwhile, in the house for frens, Papa Pep hugged his sad good boi. He promised Helper that he will buy the little fella another toy train as soon as he gets his next paycheck.

Helper's tears stopped.

"Upsies, papa," said the good boi. "Upsies."

Pep picked up Helper and they embraced in a hug.

FIN.

There's A Honkler In My Mirror - A Poem For Frens & Frens of Frens

There's a Honkler in my mirror that won't go away
He stares never-ending in haunting display
"Fren, fren, come here, fren," he'd often say
With a clown pill in-hand of every rainbow color
"You'll feel like no other, eyes bright with wonder."

After consuming the pill, my pupils widen
Red eyes all watered by the mighty Poseidon
I put on my pink neet hat and retreat to the street
There are Honklers and NPCs roaming free
"Hey frens, take a pill, you won't feel so bad."

But when the effects wore off, pink-head became sad
He felt all the joy he took all returned to sender
Of the terrible times he soon doth remember
All the town children seemed happy, half transgender
And his land invaded, cucked, and mentally-enslaved
"Welcome to Clown World, fren," said a man from his grave

He became fat, ate Twinkie, on drugs riding around
In his system on a scooter because green legs too heavy
Can't walk around and fired for not taking the joy
"I'll be a good, boi. I promise, a real good chunky boi."

There's still a Honkler in my mirror that still won't leave
I scream and reeeeee for the normie to retreat
"Get the fuck off my board, normie, REEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Tales From The Honk: Herberta Honkler's Gender Reveal

"Deddy, why, why do you cry? Dry your tears, father fren. Soon my life will be at an end," said Herberta Honkler with blood dripping from the large gaping wound in zir groin.

"Your father and I support your decision 100 percent," said Mummy. "For now, he can not speak. For he is so happy, tears they bound from the round spheres called eyes he has in his head."

"Deddy, Deddy, is this true?" asked Herberta. "Are you a fan of my new gaping wound?"

The pale patriarch winced and blinked and a smile was forced. Before he could talk he let out a cough. He dribbled spit all over Mummy's smock.

"Her-her-her-berta, is tha- that your name now?" asked Deddy. "I am so- so so so happy for you."

"Oh, glorious day, Deddy, glorious day," said Herberta. "Now, I will run outside and play. With all of my frens, play with all of my frens. I will run outside and play with all of my frens."

But the bleeding didn't stop and Herberta was dead.

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THIS BLOG IS SATIRE AND SHOULD BE LOOKED AT AS A WORK OF FICTION FOR COMEDIC AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES!!!!!!

Milo Yiannopolous Dresses Up As Anne Frank, Goes On Date With Richard Spencer To Holocaust Museum

Super troll Milo Yiannopolous was seen going on a date with alt-right founder Richard Spencer to the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington D.C. all while dressed as Anne Frank. Yiannopolous told media outlets that he was simply "going on a cute 1488 date with a liked-minded individual." Both men have stirred outrage from the press and public as one finds enjoyment by trolling with Nazism while the other one openly wants to create a white ethnostate.

Yiannopolous warned the press and public that he'll be returning to the spotlight this upcoming spring. In the newly-released music video "Silver & Gold" he gives the world a hint as to why he got into so much debt. Now, with millions in the red, expect a whole bunch of attention-seeking stunts to offend the masses.

The former Breitbart writer was busy in his diary so he refused to comment as to why he's dressed up as Anne Frank in a Holocaust museum.

However, Spencer was able to leave a statement, saying "I hate it when people go up in my face talking about how we got to save the white rhino from extinction, what about save the white race from extinction?"

Spencer was then punched out in the museum by a masked assailant who quickly ran out of sight. Yiannopolous let a cry and fell to his knees after seeing his alt-right comrade crumble to the ground.

"Why? What has he ever done to any of you?," asked Milo to the families of Holocaust victims/survivors visiting the museum and looking on in confusion.

Milo then ripped pages out of his diary and blew his nose with it as the crowd gasped. Yiannopolous was escorted from the premises while Spencer awoke in an ambulance. However, the super troll was able to regain access into the museum after "servicing" one of the security guards.

"What a long day," said Yiannopolous. "I'm absolutely gassed."