Groyper Goes To The Shady Side Of Frentown For Back-Alley Chicken Tendies

In a back-alley, in the shady side of Frentown, Groyper searched for his chicken tendies dealer. A frown cast upon the toad's face as he looked under garbage pales, under trash cans, and wet newspapers, until finding his dealer fren Fronz the French Ferret.

With fingers interlocked under chin, Groyper passed along the toy train to Fronz with his foot. The ferret smiled, reached into his trench coat and pulled out a pink dildo by mistake. Groyper grimaced and Fronz dropped the dildo while reaching back into his coat to pull out a zip-loc bag of premium tendies.

Groyper grabbed the bag and ran off. He hopped along the trail of the cybernetic cityscape that occupied the shady side of Frentown. He hopped passed Pepbots and NPCs doing their daily reeeee and screams respectively.

This mischievous toad pondered whether it was wrong of him to steal that green-golden toy train from his little cousin Helper. But once he looked down at the tendies in his pocket, his mind quickly reverted to a state of bliss, picturing himself enjoying that fresh pound of sweet, sweet tendies moving past his lips, onto his long pink tongue, and into that starving green belly.

While hopping his way up the pathway to his frenly home, Groyper reached into his pocket and pulled out one uncooked tendies as he could no longer wait to consume his tendie treats. Groyper bit into the cold chicken and smiled.

Groyper slowly crept towards his side door and peered into the window. He entered the house and hopped towards the kitchen where he unraveled tin foil onto the counter, placing each tendie onto the foil in preparation for the oven.

He retreated to the bedroom to change clothes. Any time Groyper used the oven, he always wore his German military uniform. Groyper returned to the kitchen and placed the foil with the tendies into the oven and smiled.

Groyper set the oven to 300 degrees and the timer for fifteen minutes. He waited until the tendies reached a golden-brown. He waited patiently, drooling, watching the tendies cook and sizzle.

The oven buzzed and the toad quickly yanked open its door and pulled out the tendie treats. OWWWWWW! Silly Groyper forgot to put an oven mitten on his foot. He sucked his foot in pain then fell onto the floor to devour the tendies.

Groyper's eyes welled with both pain and pleasure. Despite the burning pain in his foot, the tendies were delicious and totally worth the trouble.

He fell asleep upon the floor, satisfied with the snack. Groyper later awoke two hours later as vomit uncontrollably spewed from his open mouth. He felt terribly, terribly sick.

Groyper spent the next week sick in bed. Helper even paid him a visit to hand-feed him chicken noodle broth to help nurse him back to health.

"Don't worry, fren," said Helper. "I forgive you for stealing my toy train. I know you have a terrible addiction and I still love you no matter what. You'll always be apart of my family and a true fren."

Helper's Gift: The Tale Of The Green-Golden Toy Train

A beloved fren, a simple hero with an innocent and curious soul that knows no bounds. Helper sat by the fire playing with a yo-yo, sitting besides his favorite shaggy pupper.

Papa Pep walked in with a green and golden toy train for his favorite good boi. Helper stood up, hands outstretched towards his father. His eyes lit up when seeing the train. "Upsies," said Helper. "Upsies please."

Pep picked up Helper and handed him the train. The good boi's eyes lit up with wonder and he swung the toy around in the air, making "cho cho" noises.

Mummy came in from the kitchen with a plate of chicken tendies fresh and hot from the oven. Name brand tendies, they were of top quality until the very last bite. After finishing said tendies and giving Mummy a hug, little Helper retreated to a soft couch cushion where he slept soundly with pupper.

While Helper slept, his teenage cousin Groyper came over, grabbing nearly everything with his foot. Mummy and Papa Pep overlooked these transgressions, suggesting "Groypers will be Groypers."

Groyper eyed the green-golden toy train in Helper's sleeping arms. With fingers interlocked beneath his chin, he devised the ultimate scheme: steal Helper's toy while he's asleep and play "cho cho" anytime he wants or, even better, he'd trade the train in an alley for more tendies than his heart could desire.

Groyper grabbed the train which woke up the dog who woke up the Helper frog who called for his mum. "Mum, mum, come quick. Come quick. Cousin Groyper is running off with my train."

When Mummy entered the den, Groyper had already run off with the train. Helper's eyes swelled with tears. He hugged Mummy and wept.

Later that day, poor little Helper stared out the window. He cried, longing for the green-golden toy train to return home to his loving arms. But sadly, that day never came.

Cousin Groyper sold the train in a back-alley for a bag of home-brewed chicken tendies. A whole pound of tendies that only made Groyper sick.

Groyper learned an important lesson: eat tendies responsibly and only buy them from a store or restaurant or kid's meal burger joint, not some shady back-alley.

Meanwhile, in the house for frens, Papa Pep hugged his sad good boi. He promised Helper that he will buy the little fella another toy train as soon as he gets his next paycheck.

Helper's tears stopped.

"Upsies, papa," said the good boi. "Upsies."

Pep picked up Helper and they embraced in a hug.

FIN.

There's A Honkler In My Mirror - A Poem For Frens & Frens of Frens

There's a Honkler in my mirror that won't go away
He stares never-ending in haunting display
"Fren, fren, come here, fren," he'd often say
With a clown pill in-hand of every rainbow color
"You'll feel like no other, eyes bright with wonder."

After consuming the pill, my pupils widen
Red eyes all watered by the mighty Poseidon
I put on my pink neet hat and retreat to the street
There are Honklers and NPCs roaming free
"Hey frens, take a pill, you won't feel so bad."

But when the effects wore off, pink-head became sad
He felt all the joy he took all returned to sender
Of the terrible times he soon doth remember
All the town children seemed happy, half transgender
And his land invaded, cucked, and mentally-enslaved
"Welcome to Clown World, fren," said a man from his grave

He became fat, ate Twinkie, on drugs riding around
In his system on a scooter because green legs too heavy
Can't walk around and fired for not taking the joy
"I'll be a good, boi. I promise, a real good chunky boi."

There's still a Honkler in my mirror that still won't leave
I scream and reeeeee for the normie to retreat
"Get the fuck off my board, normie, REEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Tales From The Honk: Herberta Honkler's Gender Reveal

"Deddy, why, why do you cry? Dry your tears, father fren. Soon my life will be at an end," said Herberta Honkler with blood dripping from the large gaping wound in zir groin.

"Your father and I support your decision 100 percent," said Mummy. "For now, he can not speak. For he is so happy, tears they bound from the round spheres called eyes he has in his head."

"Deddy, Deddy, is this true?" asked Herberta. "Are you a fan of my new gaping wound?"

The pale patriarch winced and blinked and a smile was forced. Before he could talk he let out a cough. He dribbled spit all over Mummy's smock.

"Her-her-her-berta, is tha- that your name now?" asked Deddy. "I am so- so so so happy for you."

"Oh, glorious day, Deddy, glorious day," said Herberta. "Now, I will run outside and play. With all of my frens, play with all of my frens. I will run outside and play with all of my frens."

But the bleeding didn't stop and Herberta was dead.

THIS BLOG IS SATIRE

THIS BLOG IS SATIRE AND SHOULD BE LOOKED AT AS A WORK OF FICTION FOR COMEDIC AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES!!!!!!

Milo Yiannopolous Dresses Up As Anne Frank, Goes On Date With Richard Spencer To Holocaust Museum

Super troll Milo Yiannopolous was seen going on a date with alt-right founder Richard Spencer to the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington D.C. all while dressed as Anne Frank. Yiannopolous told media outlets that he was simply "going on a cute 1488 date with a liked-minded individual." Both men have stirred outrage from the press and public as one finds enjoyment by trolling with Nazism while the other one openly wants to create a white ethnostate.

Yiannopolous warned the press and public that he'll be returning to the spotlight this upcoming spring. In the newly-released music video "Silver & Gold" he gives the world a hint as to why he got into so much debt. Now, with millions in the red, expect a whole bunch of attention-seeking stunts to offend the masses.

The former Breitbart writer was busy in his diary so he refused to comment as to why he's dressed up as Anne Frank in a Holocaust museum.

However, Spencer was able to leave a statement, saying "I hate it when people go up in my face talking about how we got to save the white rhino from extinction, what about save the white race from extinction?"

Spencer was then punched out in the museum by a masked assailant who quickly ran out of sight. Yiannopolous let a cry and fell to his knees after seeing his alt-right comrade crumble to the ground.

"Why? What has he ever done to any of you?," asked Milo to the families of Holocaust victims/survivors visiting the museum and looking on in confusion.

Milo then ripped pages out of his diary and blew his nose with it as the crowd gasped. Yiannopolous was escorted from the premises while Spencer awoke in an ambulance. However, the super troll was able to regain access into the museum after "servicing" one of the security guards.

"What a long day," said Yiannopolous. "I'm absolutely gassed."