A Clockwork Groyper (Chapter 1)

It was us frens - that is Groyper, Honkler, Marv, and Apu. And we were sitting in the Brittany Venti milkbar plotting on what to do with the evening. Each of us were taking inward our share of Milkies Plus, which contained Frenocrum, Horntaset, and Brapsclin - all to sharpen us up for a night of the ultra groyping. And sharpen us it did, oh my groypers, that it did.

After a few quick glurp glurp of all the sweet, sweet milkies you can plot, we left the Venti bar with spirits high. Viddying the dark cool streets, your most thoughtful narrator found an NPC hollering away into the night and singing ear-splitting verses from Childish Gambino picturing the country as racist and rotten.

"How goes there, sin-singer of the daily warts? Why is thou singing into the open air?" I said grinning down at the NPC half-drunk on its own song.

"Because this is America, where it's always been rotten and stinking," said the NPC shivering in its own slimy filth.

"And oh, what's so rotten about it, fren?" said your humble narrator.

"It's rotten because it lets the Chads get over on the virgins. It's rotten because it doesn't pay women the same for doing half the work as men," said the NPC bum. "Trump is destroying the earth. He's a Russian puppet. There's no longer any respect for earthly law and order anymore."

Then, oh my groypers, the sweet bliss of fists and kicks on this poor city sap of the night. We kicked and punched him as he sang out his tired sad song.

We plucked a car about a quarter mile down the road and went out speeding into the sweet dark. My frens laughing and hooting as I played 'groyps of the road' with other vehicles of the night. Oh, my groypers, it was a real horrorshow ride screaming fast down the dimly lit streets.

Reddit Frenocide 2019: Never Again. (The Bopocost)

How do I feel about the biggest frenocide known to the internet? Two words: Never Again.

Thursday, June 20, 2019, will go down in infamy as the day when r/frenworld died. On that day, anons experienced the largest frenocide of the century, resulting in the annihilation and ethnic cleansing of over 60k frens. Innocent good bois were wiped clean from Reddit. The many were blamed for the shitposting of the few as those who allegedly promoted excessive bopping ultimately led to the subreddit being banned for supposedly "encouraging and glorifying violence."

F to all the cozy frens. Give the closest good boi around you a big warm hug.

They were too young. They were all just too young. Those...monsters. Those normie scum, unfrenly heartless bastards took this from us:

You'll catch as many beautiful butterflies as you want in Heaven, my dearest Apustaja.

Reddit took away our frens for being the cutest, sweetest frogs around. We weren't calling for the death of police officers or bashing the fash or destroying the patriarchy or challenging and dismantling problematic whiteness. We were just frens. A bunch of cozy frens.

After and during the Reddit Frenocide, many cozy good bois took in Apus and Marvs. The largely unprovoked frenocide caused a massive meme refugee crisis. Apu was the one really under attack, but Marvs capitalized off of the situation by migrating from Marvistan and claiming asylum or hiding in the homes of fellow expat frens.

We should have seen this coming, frens. We had our fun on Reddit, but normies are really the ones in control of the flow of information. Normies have influence over the major news networks as well as social media platforms. We are the frens who just want to preserve /our/ way of life.

They'll continue to attack us and smear us as the wrongdoers.

And we'll continue to fight back and sometimes it could be against fellow frens, but don't do that, that's what the normies want.

Please be compassionate in these trying times. As we mourn the losses of the fallen, try to take in as many fren refugees as you can and nourish their memes back to life.

In the end, thank you. Thank you for being a fren.

Milkies, Milkies

Milkies, milkies, my favorite treat Just one glass or I'll feel weak Sipping on the frosty foam Sitting in my comfy, cozy home Still longing for another squirt One more glass of milkies wouldn't hurt Milkies! Milkies! Or I go berserk! Deny me milkies, I scorch the earth!